That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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