im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
