I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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