Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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