you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
