So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
