i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
