Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
