If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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