I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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