I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
