what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
