He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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