she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
