I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize