Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I looked at my own cervix.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
