Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
