you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
