Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
