This dress was meant to end up on your floor
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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