took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
