i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
They are going to name an STD after you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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