did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
