Fuck appropriateness.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
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alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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