nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
