I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
