If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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