My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
