No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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