I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
