i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
