loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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