The maid of honor just puked.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
