Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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