Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
