there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
