You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
