Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
