I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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