just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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