And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
