somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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