So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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