We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
