just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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