dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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