I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
