lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
