So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
