Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize