The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
