It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
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