I don't think brook has ever known best
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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