I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
