He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
