how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
