My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
