Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
