So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
