I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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