no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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