Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
