Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
