im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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